Thursday, May 24, 2007

(Live a life of luxury only when you do not see your brethren suffering poverty, sickness and minimum wants for want of money -
(K Mathew Thomas)


We are living in an age of Aids, Terminal illness, Lies, Fanaticism, Televangelism, Terrorism, Communalism and Casteism. Wealth has assumed the status of God. Moneymaking has become the main pursuit of life and the family comes under the least cared category. Spouses and children are groaning under the denial of true love and care. We may not believe in Satan, Devils and Demons. But we carry them in our pockets under different shapes and names. You may call it Mobile Phones, Credit Cards or hidden video instruments. T V has invaded our homes with trash, trash and trash. Our children know better about female anatomy than we knew at their age. Those who compeer does not dress modestly and we look for openings and curves in them more than listening to their program. Televangelists go scot-free under our vote-bank politics and democracy and they claim that they have cured Aids, Cancer etc., - perhaps Rabies too - and our Judicial System does not appear to have any law by their side to book them while poor Quacks are caught and punished instantly. My advice to you is - “Close your eyes - be an optimist and tell others what you, the optimist see under closed eyes - light or dark? K. Mathew Thomas

Monday, May 21, 2007


The following is the text of an E-mail I received from Mr. Shantnu: -

Please read the following carefully. It's very important to all of us to protect our wives, sisters also along with our entire female friends and their female relatives & colleagues.

"An incident took place in Pune - a young girl was raped by a man posing as a plain clothes officer; he asked her to come to the police station when she and her male friend didn't have a driver's license to show. He sent the boy off to get his license and asked the girl to accompany him to the police station. Took her instead to an isolated area where the horrendous crime was committed.

The law, which most are not aware of clearly states that between 6 pm and 6 am, a woman has the right to REFUSE to go to the Police Station, even if an arrest warrant has been issued against her. It is a procedural issue that a woman can be arrested between 6 pm and 6 am, ONLY if she is arrested by a woman officer and taken to an ALL WOMEN police station. And if a male officer arrests her, it has to be proven that a woman officer was on duty at the time of arrest.

Please forward this to as many girls you know. Also to boys because this can help them protect their wives, sisters and mothers.

It is good for us to know our rights. To what extent it comes of use remains to be seen in any situation. But as they say, knowledge is power.

I did not know this and I am sure lot of us doesn’t. Please be informed"

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Eve Teaser Pastor booked by RPF
"Railway Protection Force (RPF) arrested a Christian Pastor on Charges of eve teasing women inside Ladies Compartment.

RPF arrested this Pastor, David (32) hailing from Palakkad as a result of numerous complaint from Women Passengers. For this preacher, passing vulgar comments and verbally abusing women is a hobby, apart from his proselytization!

Railway Magistrate Mohammed Hanif slapped 250 Rupees penalty and one day imprisonment."
Source: H K , Kollam

Don't blame the priest. He is not the culprit. The church is.
Throw away the enforced rule of celibacy and let the
priest live a normal life- The Sales Digest
Rape and Murder of Nun - Court flays CBI

Ernakulam Chief Judicial Magistrate PD Sharangadharan criticised the CBI on Wednesday for not taking the court's instructions seriously in the Sister Abhaya murder case.

The court granted the investigating agency time till May 7 to file its report on the progress in the case.

The court had asked CBI to file its report on Wednesday after declining to grant one month's time sought by the investigating agency to file a report concerning the steps taken by it on the basis of an anonymous letter forwarded to them by the magistrate.

The letter contained the allegation that some crucial evidence in the chief chemical examiner's workbook concerning Sister Abhaya had allegedly been tampered with in the workbook.

When the case came up before the court, the CBI sought a week's time as the investigating officer was away. The magistrate told the CBI counsel that this was "delaying tactics" on the part of the agency and the court's order in the matter was "totally ignored".

The Magistrate said that he had received the anonymous letter and had personally handed over to CBI officials on November 29 last year and had directed them to investigate the matter.

Only when some reports appeared in the media on the chief examiner's report allegedly being tampered with the CBI filed a petition before the Chief Judicial Magistrate court, Thiruvanathapuram seeking to call for records relating to the alterations.

The start of the sensational case relating to the murder of Sr Abhaya, a nun at the St Pius X Convent in Kottayam, was on March 27, 1992 after her body was found in the well of the convent. The local police who first probed the death concluded that Sr Abhaya had committed suicide. After this the Crime Branch of Kerala Police and the CBI investigated the case. The CBI, which found that the nun was murdered, however, concluded the probe citing lack of evidences. But the Kerala High Court ordered reinvestigation of the case. Source:

Monday, April 30, 2007

Famous Quotes About Mothers

"Men are what their mothers made them."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson

"The noblest calling in the world is that of mother. True motherhood is the most beautiful of all arts, the greatest of all professions. She who can paint a masterpiece or who can write a book that will influence millions deserves the plaudits and admiration of mankind; but she who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters whose immortal souls will be exerting an influence throughout the ages long after painting shall have faded, and books and statues shall have been destroyed, deserves the highest honor that man can give."
— David 0. McKay

"Motherhood is the greatest potential influence in human society. Her caress first awakens in the child a sense of security; her kiss the first realization of affection; her sympathy and tenderness, the first assurance that there is love in the world. Thus in infancy and childhood she implants ever-directing and restraining influences that remain through life."
— David 0. McKay

"All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother."
— Abraham Lincoln

"The mother’s heart is the child’s schoolroom."
— Henry Ward Beecher

"Of all the rights of a woman, the greatest is to be a mother."
— Lin Yutang

"Her dignity consists in being unknown to the world; her glory is in the esteem of her husband; her pleasures in the happiness of her family."
— Jean Rousseau

"There is a woman at the beginning of all great things."
— Alphonse de Lamartine

"There never was a woman like her. She was gentle as a dove and brave as a lioness... The memory of my mother and her teachings were, after all, the only capital I had to start life with, and on that capital I have made my way."
— Andrew Jackson

"I looked on child-rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was fully as interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one that demanded the best that I could bring it."
— Rose Kennedy

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine, desert us when troubles thicken around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts."
— Washington Irving

"Perhaps the greatest social service that can be rendered by anybody to the country and to mankind is to bring up a family. But here again, because there is nothing to sell, there is a very general disposition to regard a married woman’s work as no work at all, and to take it as a matter of course that she should not be paid for it."
— George Bernard Shaw

"My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her."
— George Washington

"Because I have been sheltered, fed, By thy good care, I cannot see another’s lack And I not share My glowing fire, my loaf of bread, My roof’s safe shelter overhead, That he, too may be comforted."
— Grace noll Crowell

"In all my efforts to learn to read, my mother shared fully my ambition and sympathized with me and aided me in every way she could. If I have done anything in life worth attention, I feel sure that I inherited the disposition from my mother."
— Booker T. Washington

"The man is the brace and ceiling of his house He is the straight walls rising from the earth, The woman is the golden glow of lamps, The firelight on a hearth.
— Emery Petho "Perfect Home"

"Woman knows what man has long forgotten, that the ultimate economic and spiritual unit of any civilization is still the family."
— Clare Boothe Luce

"Youth fades; love droops, the leaves of friendship fall; A mother’s secret hope outlives them all."
— Oliver Wendell Holmes

"The story of a mother’s life: Trapped between a scream and a hug."
— Cathy Guisewite,
"Like Mother, Like Daughter"
"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother."
— Theodore Hesburgh

"By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class."
— Anne Morrow Lindbergh

"Happy is the son whose faith in his mother remains unchallenged."
— Louisa May Alcott

"Making a decision to have a child — it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."
— Elizabeth Stone

"Who ran to help me when I fell, And would some pretty story tell, Or kiss the place to make it well? My Mother."
— Ann Taylor, "My Mother"

"The hand that rocks the cradle usually is attached to someone who isn’t getting enough sleep."
— John Fiebig

"To describe my mother would be to write about a hurricane in its perfect power. "
— Maya Angelou

"My mother had a great deal of trouble with me but I think she enjoyed it."
— Mark Twain

"A picture memory brings to me; I look across the years and see Myself beside my mother’s knee. I feel her gentle hand restrain My selfish moods, and know again A child’s blind sense of wrong and pain. But wiser now, a man gray grown, My childhood’s needs are better known. My mother’s chastening love I own."
— John Greenleaf Whittier

"M" is for the million things she gave me,
"O" means only that she’s growing old,
"T" is for the tears she shed to save me,
"H" is for her heart of purest gold;
"E" is for her eyes, with love-light shining,
"R" means right, and right she’ll always be,
Put them all together, they spell
A word that means the world to me.
Howard Johnson (c. 1915)

Sunday, April 29, 2007

WOMEN 40 TO 50

Women in their 40s receive conflicting advice about the worth of screening mammograms, but that isn’t the only way to take care of your breasts. Here are some easy, inexpensive ways to reduce the risk of breast cancer and promote breast health:
· Exercise - Women who exercise regularly are 35 percent less likely to get breast cancer.
· Take Off Your Bra - Women who wear a bra for fewer than 12 hours a day are half as likely to get breast cancer.
· Eat Less Red Meat - Women who eat fish, poultry and dairy products daily are half as likely to get breast cancer as women who eat red meat once a day or more.
· Eat Your Vegetables - Women who eat an abundance of fruits and vegetables (whether cooked, canned, frozen, dried or raw) lower their breast cancer risk by 46 percent.
· Eat Some Cabbage Every Day - Vegetables in the cabbage family (including broccoli, kale, brussels sprouts, radishes and turnips) contain special substances that actively counter cancer.
· Eat Carotene-Rich Foods Daily - Women who eat carotene-rich foods (even as little as half a cup of cooked carrots daily) are seven times less likely to develop cancer than those who don’t.
· Choose Organic - Chlorine-based herbicides and pesticides (organochlorines) are believed to be a major factor in promoting breast cancer. Women with high levels of organochlorines in their blood are four to 10 times more likely to develop breast cancer than women with low levels.
· Choose Unbleached Paper Products- Organochlorines enter water supplies after they are used to bleach paper products, including toilet paper, feminine hygiene products and facial tissues.
· Use Less Sunscreen - Habitual sunscreen users have unusually low levels of vitamin D, an antioxidant that inhibits the initiation of breast cancer.
· Use Fewer Prescription Drugs - Several categories of prescription drugs are known to increase the risk of breast cancer. Most troublesome are estrogen supplements, beta-blockers and anti- depressants

.Did You Know?

· Most breast cancers are found by women themselves.
· Having a brother with prostate cancer increases your chances of developing breast cancer as much or more than having a sister with breast cancer.
· By the time cancer is visible on a mammogram, it has been in your breast for six years

Courtesy: Susan S. Weed, Herbalist


Pimples disappear without leaving scars when rubbed with raw garlic several times a day. Even very persistent form of acne, suffered by some adults, has also been healed with garlic. The external use of garlic helps to clear the skin of spots, pimples and boils. The process is further helped by taking the garlic orally also, to purify the blood stream so as to secure long-term clearance of the skin.
A regular course of 3 garlic capsules per day should help to clear minor skin infections quickly.
High blood pressure
Garlic is regarded as one of the most effective remedies to lower blood pressure. The pressure and tension are reduced because it has the power to ease the spasm of the small arteries. It also slows the pulse and modifies the heart rhythm, besides relieving dizziness, shortness of breath and the formation of gas within the digestive track.
The average dosage of 2 or 3 capsules a day make a dent in blood pressure.
Three cloves of garlic boiled in milk, can be used every night with excellent results in asthma. A pod of garlic is peeled, macerated and boiled in 120 ml of pure malt-vinegar. After cooling, it is strained and an equal quantity of honey is mixed and preserved in a clean bottle. One or two teaspoons of this syrup taken with a fenugreek decoction once in the evening and before retiring, has been found effective in reducing the severity of asthmatic attacks.
Rheumatic affliction
In Russia, Britain and Japan, garlic is used extensively in the treatment of rheumatism and associated diseases. Garlic has been shown to exhibit an anti-inflammatory property which could account for its effectiveness in the treatment of arthritis and rheumatism. The most popular method is to take the garlic cloves orally, although some reports indicate that pain can also be relieved by locally rubbing the affected parts with cloves of cut garlic.
Garlic oil is rapidly absorbed through the skin and into the blood stream and quickly reaches the affected areas.
Chest diseases
Garlic has proved to be highly effective in certain diseases of the chest. It has been found to reduce foetidity of the breath in pulmonary gangrene. Dr McDuffie advocated the use of garlic in tuberculosis of the lungs, Dr F W Crosman once said that if garlic were given in sufficient quantities, it was a marvellous remedy in the treatment of pneumonia.
Used for many years in pneumonia, garlic never failed to bring down the temperature, as well as the pulse and respiration, within 48 hours. Garlic can also be applied externally to the chest with beneficial results as it is an irritant and rubefacent. In ayurveda, a decoction of garlic boiled in milk is considered a wonderful drug for tuberculosis.
One gram of garlic, 240 ml of milk and 1 litre of water are boiled together till only one fourth of the decoction remains. It should be taken thrice in the day.
Garlic preparations, including extracts and juices, have been used successfully against cancer in both animal and human studies, says Dr Paavo Airola, a naturopathic physician and nutritionist.
Garlic is considered an excellent remedy for diphtheria. Its constant application by chewing a clove of garlic removes the membranes, reduces temperature and relieves the patient. About 30 or 60 gms of garlic can be used in this way in 3 or 4 hours for a week. After the membrane disappears, the same quantity of garlic should be chewed daily.
The diphtheric patient has no taste or smell and merely finds the garlic hot

Courtesy: Internet.

You Are My World

Dear Son,

Everytime I look at you, I can’t believe that I had in me all this time the power to create such a perfect child as you. As I hold you close to my heart, I pray that I will be here to see and share all your goals and accomplishments. Never before has life seemed so precious to me. I wish I could bottle this time that we share together.
As I look upon your sleeping, angelic face, I am amazed. I hold you so close that I feel your breath and I desperately hold on to this feeling. When you grow older, perhaps you won’t recall how I held you every night until you fell asleep. But, my son, these precious moments I will never forget.
I know that life will hold many triumphs and trials for you. I want to be there to share in your joys and to be your shoulder when you need to cry. I feel such a fierce, overwhelming desire to protect you from all the evils of this world. Sometimes I will hold you a little too tight - forgive me, you are my world.
There are many lessons that I want to teach you. Perhaps the hardest ones will be the ones you learn yourself. I wish that I could learn them for you, for my heart aches at the thought that you may fail at some of life’s bittersweet lessons. But, please know, that no matter what, you will always have my unconditional, undying love.
Even if we lived forever, I could not even begin to show you the depth of my love for you. I love you more than life itself and I would give my life for you without a seconds hesitation. Please know that you are and will always be the light of my life. You have made my life complete.
I Love You,

Your Mommy
Heather Nightingale
"Motherhood is the greatest potential influence in human society. Her caress first awakens in the child a sense of security; her kiss the first realization of affection; her sympathy and tenderness, the first assurance that there is love in the world. Thus in infancy and childhood she implants ever-directing and restraining influences that remain through life."
~ David O McKay

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Pregnancy Differences

Your Clothes - 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. - 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. - 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

The Baby's Name -1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favourites. - 2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you. - 3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points.

Preparing for the Birth - 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. - 2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing. - 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette - 1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, colour-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau. - 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains. - 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries - 1st baby: At the first sign of distress -- a whimper, a frown -- you pick up the baby. - 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn. - 3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Activities - 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour. - 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics. - 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out - 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times. - 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached. - 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home - 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. - 2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. - 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Courtesy: Internet

The beauty of a woman
Is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure that she carries,
Or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman
must be seen from in her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman
is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman
Is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows,
And the beauty of a woman
With passing years-only grows!

You don't stop laughing because you grow old;
you grow old because you stop laughing

Sunday, March 25, 2007


The havoc, cancer has caused to a well-knit family

1990 June - time, around 8 in the night - a distress voice from the kitchen! My three daughters and I rushed in. My wife Leela, fumbled and fainted in my hands. My daughters started crying. I was in real quandary! On one side I have to console my daughters and on the other I had to nurse her to consciousness! I poured cold water all over her and in a few minutes' time she was back to recovery. That was the beginning of a two year-old ordeal for a family that was earlier too limping solving issues after issues.

She was managing a five-member strength family all alone doing cleaning, cooking and washing besides helping children in their studies being a trained graduate teacher who served different schools of repute in Northern India and Chennai. When she first conceived we decided that she resign and look after home as that was our priority. She did accordingly. So when she fainted I thought she was stressed too much and the burden of managing a home alone, could have caused it.

The next morning I took her to a hospital nearby and like any commercial hospital they wanted to observe her condition for three days. She was diagnosed of slight blood pressure after three days of close observation and was discharged on my paying a hefty bill. It made a dent on my purse. I did not need their luxurious comfort. Further I was staying only two minutes drive, away from the Five Star Care Home - you call it Hospital. O K, she was all right now and we were happy!

Managing a small industry alone and with all the trials and tribulations attached to it, I get tired after hours of slogging and when I reach Home, I go to bed as early as possible. On one night I woke up around midnight and I found my wife reclining on a chair, gasping for breath. She assured me with a smile that there was nothing wrong with her and she would soon go back to bed once she felt sleepy. I was not convinced but with certain feelings of guilt, which now I experience, I say, I retired. I started observing her during nights and found that there was something wrong with her, which she did not want to share with us. On my persistence she agreed for consultations in the same hospital and the Doctor there asked her to stay there for a few days for further observation. When she was discharged the hospital advised her to go in for treatment for back-ache, which this time they found out after a few thousands of hard cash that went into the drain.

Without returning we went to the other Doctor - I should admit he was very courteous - and he fixed an inconvenient time for me in the morning for a treatment lasting over a fortnight. The treatment went on very well and we were assured that she was fit like a fiddle. The drain flooded but my tap became near-empty.

Look at our background! In my business due to low investment built up out of my humble savings I was the peon as well as the boss and around me I had only well-paid but irresponsible helpers. At home my wife was the servant maid, the mother, the wife and the teacher, all rolled into one. Both at home and business fronts we felt the pinch dearly and every thing was shaking under us. All my three children, deeply attached to the Mother - like any girl children - were constantly in tears at their mother's ill health and was praying to spare her life for them. They needed her.

When thing were returning to a shade of normalcy, Leela again showed symptoms of ill health as well as pain all over, particularly at the chest region. Once again the house was in sadness and concern. In the meantime an additional responsibility of preparing the children to go to the College fell on me although the Children were themselves attending to cooking and things like that. At that time we never had many gadgets and we had to toil hard to cook basic things. I could observe the pain Leela was undergoing by just looking at her face. On one day at midnight seeing me coming out of the bathroom with a basin full of washed clothes, she broke down. I consoled her and said we did better and learned more by confronting a hostile life.

When the chest pain aggravated I took her again to the same Hospital. Breathing had by then become very difficult for her. She was admitted for a third time and on going through all the costly tests making use of all available gadgets in the hospital, she was found carrying enormous quantity of fluid in her lungs. The Doctors wondered how she could hide so much pain all those days. Leela was hiding the pain deliberately as she feared it would cause concern in us. She was taken to an emergency room and the fluid was drained out piercing her back with a syringe. She felt a little ease and after a day or two we returned home and thought the crisis was over.

Within a fortnight she was back to the same problem; another visit to the hospital; no tests this time, but the same treatment of draining out the accumulated fluids. We returned; but the problem was recurring and when this continued twice or thrice the Doctor suspected of Cancer in her. He advised us that she had to undergo a mini surgery for certain tests. I asked him to tell me what exactly the disease she was suspected of, but he remained silent. I asked all the nurses around me and they too would not reveal it. When she was taken to the Operation Theatre she looked diffident and till at the entrance of the room she was looking at me while I was walking by her side and she was firmly holding my hand. All my children were around me and I consoled them that she was taken for some minor tests to be conducted on her and they did not need to worry.

She was like any mother; a very loving and doting one and she lived for them sacrificing all her comforts. From the College the children will return straight to her and flock around her. I have seldom come across such a mother-daughters relationship although she used to scold them for even minor disobedience. But they were protected within her wings and to all their fair demands she yielded. I used to scold Leela in my own way and advised her against too much pampering which they might not experience normally in their married life.

Since my experience in the hospital field was limited I was waiting for her return, back to the room as it was only a minor surgery. None informed us otherwise! An hour or so we waited in all anxiety and when I enquired about her I was told that she could be seen in the post surgery ward. So I with my children rushed to the Ward and there I could see her sitting, reclining on a raised pillow. All of us went to her and she looked quite normal. But she had difficulty in speaking to us. We didn't want to disturb her and decided to return to the room. While taking a few steps back my second daughter Asha was showing uneasiness and was about to faint. I held her in my arms and called for medical help, which fortunately was available there itself. She was put on fluids and was lying on another bed just a few yards behind her mother. But the mother was innocently looking at the opposite direction unaware of what was happening behind her.

That moment I should say was the most painful, suspenseful and agonizing experience I ever had in my life. On one side a caring and loving mother in her sick bed just after surgery and on the other side her most affectionate daughter in another bed under treatment. I prayed that Leela should not look back to see all of us there and get alarmed of what was going on there. I was in deep suspense every second. Had she seen her daughter under treatment she would have rushed to be by her side. One will only understand if one imagines being in that position. I was shattered; so were my two other daughters.

The next day the Physician left a message that I should call on him at his room. I was in deep suspense. I went to him blocking all my natural emotions. The test results had by then reached him. He was in the midst of a group of people. When I asked the reason, he without any emotion – Doctors carry with them only profession-formed, frozen emotions – told me that my wife was suffering from Cancer. I stood motionless and broke down right there. My whole world was reeling around me. I just asked whether he could cure her of the disease. He said he would try – the formatted reply.

I did not talk about the diagnosis to my children. They were hoping for the better. But one day, my first daughter Anu, smelled a fish after reading the medical reports on the table that Leela was suffering from Cancer. Somehow or other I managed the situation and I told her that it was only suspected. But how long one can hide the devil in the pocket?

That night without a wink of sleep I was sitting beside my wife in the hospital bed. Looking at me and observing the pain reflected in my face she asked me what the Doctor had said in his room. I hid my emotions and said that there were only some minor problems with her. She was not convinced. 'Cancer', she asked. I just looked down and she understood. She said, 'Don't worry, we have to face life as it comes. I am the least worried. But I have my concerns over all of you". She was exceptionally bold throughout till her end and nearby I stood in awe worshipping her courage!

In the meantime my daughters got a scent about the impending disaster and they cried and prayed that they needed her and she be spared. They started collecting all the names of Evangelists and started writing to each one of them seeking their prayers for her cure. They all assured them that nothing would happen to her as their prayers will stand by her and Jesus Christ would heal her.

So there were a spate of dreams occurring to all of us in our disturbed sleep and we used to share our dreams with her to comfort her and assure her of positive recovery. One night I saw in my dream of a heavenly body pouring a few drops in a pond and my wife getting absolutely cured and looking heavenly beautiful. The next morning I told her of my dream and she in turn passed it over to our daughters. She really believed that something positive would happen to her.

In the meantime she was referred to Adyar Cancer Hospital and the Doctor, a graceful lady told me that only a miracle could save her and miracles seldom happened'. Our hospital now had changed their attitude over us although we were promptly paying the bills without fail. The Doctor would never stop to talk to me and I had to run after him room by room to get some response. I told him to do whatever he wanted to save her and once to a query about the expense involved I said " I will sell even my last shirt to save her'. This term was not of my making, but I just copied what once my father said to a Doctor when my sister was seriously ill. What do we live for? We live for what God had entrusted with us to love and be loved, to care and be cared of, in our life!

We were advised to take her to Tamilnadu Hospital where a cancer specialist was available. It was far away in the suburb. She was admitted there and treatment for Ovarian Cancer started there. There the Doctors were very friendly, humble and helpful which I never had experienced before. They were very sincere and really wanted to help.

They said a surgery would help and I nodded for it. Now with my experience I gained during that period I would never recommend spending for a surgery when the Cancer was in its secondary stage. No hospital or Doctor would ever give a guarantee of cure. Leela told me that she would not have any problem undergoing a second surgery, but told me firmly that it would be a sheer waste. To me and our children her life was the most coveted and precious one which we were not prepared to surrender and money did not play any part in it. It was secondary. The operation was initially fixed for a day and I never knew that it was to take place on our marriage anniversary day. She reminded me of this and I made a call to the Doctor and got it postponed to another date. She was again admitted for surgery in the Hospital. A day prior to that my sister-in-law who had come to be of help to her during the operation got a telegram that Leela's another sister who had just returned from Nigeria expired of heart attack. She said she had to go home on some excuses and she went. Leela was puzzled at her sudden departure, but fortunately did not put questions over it. We wanted the surgery to go on smoothly and we did not inform her of the death of her sister.

The surgery took place as planned earlier. She was discharged and advised Chemotherapy during specific days for which we had to report to the Hospital without fail. This continued for a long time.

Leela was so pretty with a Kashmiri complexion and a lush growth of hair. After the Chemotherapy her face started turning dark and all her hair had dropped. While returning from Chemotherapy she used to vomit and it was a painful sight to see her agony. Still she had kept a smiling face; only we had the worried look!

In the meantime my third daughter Anju came to me with some good news. A healing assembly was on card in Marina Beach where a crowd puller Evangelist would heal all the diseases under the sun on all those who attended the meeting. My children were in desperation. I too was; but I was not convinced. I asked why we should go to Marina with a sick person when he himself can do the healing job praying at his tower-home. My children, fortunately was not that spoon-fed on false faith and they remained silent.

But it caused me enormous guilt of failing in my duty when a few days later, Anju told me that her friend's relation who was on the road sitting in his Car heard the Evangelist calling him by his name and assuring him that he was cured of his Cancer as Jesus Christ did the healing job on him at his request. (Jesus Christ did the job at the Evangelist's command and went back to him waiting to attend to obey his other commands!) In any case he was cured; that was what I was told! While all the time I was grieving on this, a month later Anju came and told me that the cured person was no more and he died of the same disease he was suffering from. Later she came to know that the dead person was related to the Evangelist. In the deal the Evangelist made a few millions and his bank account bloated a little more.

Things started happening in bad shape. Pain started aggravating. She was suffering, we knew. But she never exposed it to us. Determinedly she was hiding her suffering from us. She reached a stage where there could not be any cure and her days were determined. So the Tamilnadu Hospital became distant to us and she was confined to her bed forever. Children used to surround her on their return from classes and they even conducted their studies too sitting by her side. Such a loving relationship; such a binding bond!

Devils show up their faces from different corners when one is in peril. On one night I saw a Doordarshan T V programme of a lady - a News Reader there - testifying that she was a victim to Cancer and the Doctor who was shown along with her - A Sidha Doctor - cured her of Cancer lock, stock and barrel. She presented medical records on the screen - you know that, be Evangelists or native medical practitioners, they never show the hospital name and the Doctors' name and address. She confirmed that the Doctors were wonder-struck on her recovery. Again my lost hope surfaced - the drowning man catching the straw! I came to know that she was the wife of the Medical Director of the State. I frantically contacted him and got the address of the Sidha Doctor with his home in Thiruvallur. Early morning I set out to my target and straight reached his home. There one of his wives told me that the Doctor could be seen only in his clinic and I walked that distance to land there. I went fully prepared with all relevant medical reports and joined the sit-in queue in a majestic commercial complex owned by him. A hour or so later I was called in and the first thing I did was to place the medical records on his table. He just pushed it aside and asked me only one question; how old she was. When I asked him whether he could cure her, his reply was a dry counter-question " What am I sitting here for"?. He then handed over to me 15 days medication - a few black pills that looked like mini goat-droppings. Along with me were an eminent teacher and an ex. Secretary to the Tamilnadu Legislative Assembly. We all returned with hope. The medication was truthfully administered; but the pain increased. I went again to the Sidha Doctor and returned with more expensive droppings. There was no effect at all. Then came the news that the Teacher's wife expired followed by the death of that graceful person. However, my wife was left to suffer more.

Her condition grew worse. One morning I heard a loud scream from the bed room and we all rushed to see what happened to her. She was holding the old Malayala Manorama News Paper in her hand where she saw her sister's picture among the dead. That paper I kept away from her as I was bidding for time to reveal the sad news to her when she would be capable of absorbing the shock.

From there onwards her condition grew worse. The pain was unbearable. When it is at its highest she used to groan suppressing her voice to the minimum. Children used to console her and talk to her about God's mercy. One day she asked in desperation; "God, what did I do to suffer this agony"? God did not respond. At times she used to be very angry with me for no reasons. That was her mental state. One day I too retorted, as my state of mind was also not different. She got down in sadness and sat on the floor for a long time. Later in remorse I went to her and asked her pardon. I said, "I am very sorry". She remained silent. She was graceful to understand me. But later in utter penance, after her death I cried and kneeled at the place where she sat and repeatedly requested her soul to forgive me for my inappropriate outbursts.

The end has now come! On one morning she called me and asked me to call a friendly family who was helpful to us. Her intention was to seek their help for me in conducting the marriage of our children. Before I could take any action she dropped on the bed. I took her to the hospital nearby in an ambulance. Doctors who attended to her told me that the end would not be far away. My second daughter Asha was constantly by her side. I do not know Why; but I kept away from my sinking wife. In the meantime Asha came to console me and said "Doctors would say so many things! But, be assured, God is with us; He will not leave us, He will hear our prayers and nothing would happen to her" She stood a rock in her faith and pretty soon the rock was thrown to bits in the quake – I mean her death. I sat in silence without emotions. While I was sitting dump and numb, my daughter rushed to me to say that she was collapsing. When I reached the door, I saw her turning her head on to the side and vomiting blood. She bade farewell to this cruelworld once for all leaving all her proud belongings in human flesh! What else are we? Asha grew violent and threw away all the equipments out of frustration, being betrayed by faith and faith peddlers. Fate majestically won! Faith crashed in shame!

When her body was brought home Anju could not believe that her loving mother was dead. She shrieked and repeatedly begged her to rise up. No response! She fainted by her side. My weak heart lived to all these situations. Sad situations one after another! In the night a Doctor was called in and she was put to sedation.

That night I sat statuelike near her dead body. A screen popped-up in my mind. There I projected our good and bad times; how she remained without sleep a whole night at my sick bed, how she had kissed my feet one morning after a previous day quarrel, how she used to express her confidence in me and how at the instance of my sister she selected me to live our life together although we in appearances resembled Othello and Desdemona. (The first time we met, it was at the Church Marriage Ceremony. I saw her sitting beside me and she saw me after our marriage. You wonder! Yes, it happened in our case). I looked at her motionless body. We never had any honeymoon. But the first night through a rickety window the full moon shone on her face and I saw and I still remember her pretty, graceful smiling face resting on my hands. And now here, in front of me lays a figure eaten away by Cancer; no hair, burnt complexion, bloated stomach; to sum up, a ghost of what she was.

And days after, I saw this message she left in her diary! "The Lord who has girded me with strength shall keep my ways safe"

The one who stood by me through thick and thin left me forever or did God cruelly snatch her away from us! This question still remains unanswered in front of me! I pictured what was in store for me in future! A blank screen popped up. My children and I have to draw our life afresh with bare hands. The brush has been taken away. Three girls are to be married off. Most of the assets single handedly I built disappeared. I have started losing my nerves. I turned my wrath against God! I started abusing Him. I called Him names. And on one such weak moment I told my children to the dismay of my Mother-in-Law who was sitting next to me that we always seek pardon from God for the wrong we do; but now it is His turn to seek our pardon for the wrong He had done on us. They all remained silent. Perhaps they had thought that I have gone nuts. I did.

It was on March 26th night in 1992 she died and made all of us feel orphaned with her exit, leaving three girls of marriageable age in my frail hands. And the days when my children's marriage took place I cried my heart out in solitude missing her presence, but seeing her compensating in my imagination gracing the function. In my third daughter's marriage betrothal, I was made to stand along with the groom's parents and when I looked at my side for my wife I saw a vacuum and tears flowed through my eyes. What a life is this! A life I did not choose!

I said, God was cruel to us. But He was not. All my daughters' marriage took place. I could arrange it with dignity. But in the process I came across many who carried the Holy Book and conveniently reciting verses from it, but making extraordinary demands. None showed any sympathy for the motherless girls of chracter; good-looking, intelligent and educated. I did not yield to demands and my children stood by me. In one proposal the stumbling block that pained all of us was that the girl didn't have her mother living. How ignorant and cruel are some around us!

Now I live a life alone independent of all the rest and it would take pages to write how God was kind to me and showered His blessings over me. He pardoned me for my outbursts. Perhaps He thought He deserved it! Now He is the only One left to me to communicate with.
What is ordained come up and stay on with us. We are too week to change the course of our life. To be mute is an intelligent option, but who can?

Thursday, March 15, 2007


A WOMAN'S PRAYER . . . Lord, give to me the courage, To face each passing day; Shine Your light upon my path, To help me see my way. Pour in me Your wisdom, And grace so I may stand; Then let Your strength become my own, As I hold on to Your hand. Shine in me Your beauty, A light for all to see; Where there is hope, where there is joy, Is where the Father lives in me. Courtesy: Allison Chambers Coxsey

About Women: -

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.Charlotte Whitton (1896-1975)

I refuse to consign the whole male sex to the nursery. I insist on believing that some men are my equals.Brigid Brophy

My advice to the women's clubs of America is to raise more hell and fewer dahlias.William Allen White (1868-1944)

A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally.Lillian Day

From birth to age 18 A girl needs good parents. From 18 to 35 she needs good looks. From 35 to 55 she needs a good personality. From 55 on, she needs good cash.Sophie Tucker (1884-1966) American Singer

The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well.Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, Swiss-born psychiatrist and writer

Love is like a flower. It shortly diesUnknown

People call me a femenist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute.Rebecca West

A woman's love is a man's privilege, not his right.Unknown

I believe in dragons, good men and other fantasy creatures.From a bumper sticker

Those who say they can see through women are missing a lot.Unknown

I have yet not been able to answer ... the great question that has never been answered : What does a woman want ? Sigmund Freud

I'm not happy, I'm cheerful. There's a difference. A happy woman has no cares at all. A cheerful woman has cares but has learned how to deal with themBeverly Sills

The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.Unknown
You see an awful lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.Unknown

Monday, March 12, 2007


The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. "I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

"Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room .... just wait."

"That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied. "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged, it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away, just for this time in my life."

She went on to explain, "Old age is like a bank account, you withdraw from what you've put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories.Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing."

And with a smile, she said: "Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred. 2. Free your mind from worries. 3. Live simply. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less."

Sunday, March 11, 2007


From woman, man is born; within woman, man is conceived; to woman he is engaged and married. Woman becomes his friend; through woman, the future generations come...So why call her bad?...without woman, there would be no one at all (sggs 473).